The Art of Negotiation: Get What You Deserve

Negotiation is one of the most important skills for life, and yet so many people are fearful of or anxious about negotiating. Whether you’re negotiating your salary, closing a business deal or trying to figure out where to take your family for vacation, how well you negotiate will determine how often you get what you actually deserve. The good news is that negotiation is not a special genetic attribute some are born with and others aren’t; it is a learnable set of skills that gets better with practice and with the right techniques.
The Mental Game of a Successful Negotiation
Successful negotiation begins with our knowledge of human psychology. People make decisions with a mix of emotion and logic, and master negotiators know how to appeal to both. Studies have shown that the best negotiations are those in which the parties walk away feeling that they’ve both gotten something that mattered to them. This “win-win paradigm” then changes the language from adversarial to collaborative.
Some of the psychological factors include:
- Establishing good rapport and trust before getting into details
- Listening actively to understand what really matters to the other party
- Understanding that timing and environments matter tremendously in terms of outcomes
Preparation: Secret Weapon
The contrast between poor and good negotiators generally is preparation. Similarly to how casino slot machines work on statistical probabilities, good negotiation is about measuring the odds and planning for all possible outcomes. Prior to entering into any negotiation, do your homework, establish clear objectives and know your walk-away.
plan your negotiation which comprises of your desired outcome and lowest acceptable terms a set of win-win proposals market research where possible or equivalent examples to make your case
Intrinsic to Strategic Communication
How you talk in negotiations can be as important as what you say. Good negotiators have a particular set of language patterns and tools that they use to influence the negotiation to a positive outcome. Begin with open-ended questions to collect information, then get them using the principle of reciprocity — if you gave something, people feel the natural compulsion to return the favor.
Effective tactics:
- Mirror the other person’s style of communication
- Strategically apply the power of silence in hopes of getting a response
- Position your suggestions in terms of joint wins
Negotiation Disasters to Avoid
Even the most seasoned negotiators can get ensnared in these obvious traps. The worst mistake is to make it personal rather than about interests and outcomes. Third is that people often accept the first offer — or counter-offer — without considering other options. Keep in mind that negotiating is a series of discussions, not just one conversation.
Avoid these traps by sticking to goals, being open to ideas or approaches, and always leaving professional egos at the door, no matter the result.
Wrapping Up
Negotiation is a skill, not an art, and one that takes time and dedication to master; however, the rewards are experienced in both your personal and professional domains. Practice on small stages and at low stakes at first and then incrementally deploy these strategies in higher-stakes situations. Keep in mind that your goal isn’t to win at all costs, but to cultivate situations in which everyone feels respected and valued. With practice and a proper attitude, you’ll land in the right places most of the time.